Happy birthday, my dear son.
On this day,
You came into our world
And our lives were turned upside down
Our lives were never the same again
Yet
Because of you
Our lives have been enriched
You gave meaning to
Love is patient
Love is kind
Love hopes all things
Endures all things.
You did, son.
You taught us what it means
To count our blessings
The many things we take for granted
Are the things you struggled to do
Things you could not do
Yet you never once complained
You're pure as an angel
Mummy dreamed of travelling the world with you
I had fanciful thoughts of chartering a plane
Hiring a team of caregivers
Together we will travel the world
If only we have tons of money
But as you grew older
Your world got smaller
Until it became the four walls of our home
We always brought you with us whenever we had an outing
That was when you were little
But as you grew older
Things got more difficult
Mummy still remembers the day
When Papa suggested we leave you at home
It was to be expected
Because meeting your needs outside became more challenging
You could only watch us without joining in
Leaving you at home the first time was not easy
It hurt
I wished we never had to do it that way
But that was how our lives had been
Yet, you never once complained
Remember the Chinese reunion dinners?
You attended everyone of them
We would occupy granny's room
It gave us privacy
But with granny's passing in 2005
Those reunion dinners ceased for you
Because we couldn't have the same kind of privacy
Other than granny's room
The only thing we looked forward to
Was visiting Popo on Chinese New Year
At Popo's
We could be ourselves
And there was room for you
Visting Popo was the highlight of Chinese New Year
Apart from that
Mummy never liked Chinese New Year
Because such an important festive occasion
Was when you were most neglected
Because we had to leave you at home
As we went visiting your aunts
I'm so sorry, my son.
I couldn't do better for you.
But you never once complained
Imagine how different life could have been for you
Had mummy taken better care of you in my womb
Throughout pregnancy mummy was dead tired
I woke up each morning, so tired
It felt like I had done a whole day's work without rest
I was too busy taking care of my students
To pay attention to you
Until it was too late
And you were born with multiple disabilities
Right from the start we knew
You must have a sibling to take care of you when we grew old
Or when we were no longer around
We planned early
And Grace came along
It wasn't long
When it dawned on mummy
That a shared burden is better
Than Grace bearing it all alone
Thus Rachel came along
When you were six
We knew right from the start
How much we would need the grace of God
To see us through each day, each year
To sustain us
This is why
Both your sisters have 'grace' to their names
We started off with faith in our hearts
Believing God for miracles for you
Thus we worked you so hard
So that we might play our part
God, His part
Your days were packed with exercises
From standing to kneeling
To bouncing on the inflated bolster
From push-up to sit-up to sit-stand
And aided walking
You did them all with nary a complaint
Even when you are so tired
You tried your best
Alas, all our hardwork came to nought
As years went by,
Our hopes and faith were also left behind
One by one
We gave up the exercises
And with them
Thoughts of miracles.
Discouragement set in
Disillusionment followed close behind
Till the day we gave up all miracles
And our hearts became full of sorrow
We were not lazy
We worked so hard, did our part
As we all grew older together
Your sisters wanted conversations on
The matter of your long-term care
They have grown up
And they felt this was an important topic
We need to have proper conversation on
It was a sign of their maturity
But mummy would shut them down
Because deep down I knew
The only option was a nursing home
But the thought of leaving you in a nursing home
was a tormenting one
Yet increasingly
I recognised that I could not expect them
To make sacrifices the way mummy did
Giving up everything from career to freedom
In order to look after you
It is right that a mother should do this for her child
But it was not fair to expect your sisters to do the same
They do have their own lives to live
They could not be expected to give up their career
Mummy promised you I would take care of you
All the days of your life, didn't I?
I told you so
More than once.
That I would keep myself strong and healthy
To be able to look after you physically
Thus I went to the gym
To workout to keep fit
So that I would always have
The physical strength to take care of you
We were to grow old together
I would be 100, fit and strong
You will live up to 70
I promised you I would always be around
To take care of you
So that you would never ever be neglected
It was easy to trust God
When we were still young and strong
But as we grew older
And our own
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