For me, time is too precious to spend dwelling on the negative. I find that it consumes me to do so. I'm so glad my mother brought us up not to 'dwell in miry clay', so to speak.
I remember the time when an old neighbour told my siblings and I to go home because, she said, we were different from other children. We had no father.
We did as we were told. We were very obedient children. When my mother came back from work we told her about this. My mother was angry. She confronted the neighbour.
"In what ways are my children different from other children? They have 2 eyes, 2 ears, a nose and a mouth, just like any other children, etc."
She didn't speak for very long. Nor did she insist on any reply or apology. I think the point she wanted to drive home was: you don't ride roughshod over my children just because they are now fatherless. She was a mother defending her children.
After she had said her piece, the matter was closed. My mother did not dwell on it. She did not discuss it with us. Nor did she once speak ill of the neighbour to us despite what happened. Hence, we children were also not given to negativity. We bore no ill-feelings towards the neighbour. To me, she was just old, lonely and cranky.
Words, by themselves, have weight and words have meanings. But we also ascribe weight and meanings to words. My mother did not give too much meaning to what the old neighbour said. Neither did my siblings and I.
